“What’s it really like working with your husband/wife?”

Hi, I’m Daryl – Director of RMG – and welcome to the first official issue of our new fortnightly newsletter, The Real McCoy.

We’re kicking things off with the question we get asked more than anything else:

“What’s it really like working with your husband/wife?”

Daryl Cooke’s Perspective -

Well, here’s my version of the story…

Nikki (also Director of RMG – and my wife of over 14 years) has been involved in my business since day one. Back when she had a full-time role at Reading University in the pharmaceutical world, she still made time in the evenings to help me with emails – which, being severely dyslexic, I’ve always found challenging. Her support in those early days was massive.

Fast-forward to around eight years ago, Nikki took the leap and came on board full-time with RMG – and that’s when everything started levelling up. She brought in structure, systems, compliance, and accreditations – all the things that pushed us into operating seriously at a commercial level. If you want to grow a business properly, you need someone like that.

 But it was a big shift for her.

She went from a structured 9–5 with a clear end to the workday, to a world where the phone doesn’t stop, the pressure’s constant, and you’re always ‘on.’ There’s no one else to sort the problems. No IT department. No HR. You’re it. And Nikki made that transition with grit, patience, and some serious resilience.

Now, working as husband and wife? That’s another story.

I’ve always been able to switch off when the workday ends – whether we’ve had a smooth one or a stressful one. Nikki, not so much. She’d carry it home with her, which obviously led to a few clashes now and then. But over the years, we’ve learned how to balance each other out, and somehow… we make it work.

We’ve worked from spare rooms, garden offices, containers on-site – and now we’ve got a lovely setup at a garden centre that we both love.

And yes… I still haven’t quite figured out where the line is between “professional office behaviour” and winding Nikki up like we’re at home. Luckily, our amazing office team know me well enough to let it slide (most of the time).

But behind all the laughs, there’s been a lot of sacrifice.

Long hours. Missed weekends. Endless late nights. We’ve both poured everything into building RMG into what it is – and more importantly, what it’s going to become.

I’ve had a clear vision for this business since I was 15 years old, the day I left school. I’ve always known what I wanted RMG to be. And the truth is, having someone buy into that vision with you – especially when it wasn’t their dream to begin with – is rare.

So hats off to Nikki.

This might have started as my dream, but over time, it’s become our dream. And I know we’re going to build it into everything I imagined and more.

But this is just my version of the story…

Nikki Cooke’s Perspective -

This question is also the one I get asked most – by colleagues, industry contacts, friends, and family! It certainly seems to be the “tea” everyone wants, so here it is.

It can be hard, but it really is only as hard as you make it. I’ll definitely admit that I maybe didn’t fully think through the realities of working, living, and parenting with the same person – especially when it wasn’t just a job I walked into, but co-owning and running our own business.

Taking the decision to leave a 10-year career in a global company, with a regular income, annual bonus, and all the other benefits of working for a large company wasn’t easy… but we decided to make it even more difficult and do it while I was 6 months pregnant with our third child. We really don’t do things by halves!

Honestly though, even with the lovely benefits that come with being employed, it really was a no-brainer – but it was scary.

All of our income now came from one source, so we had no choice but to do what it took to make it work . Luckily for me – it did.

Now, as for working with your spouse or partner, I’ll say that this isn’t an advert either for or against making that decision – this is just my personal experience.

Technically, I’ve ‘worked’ with Daryl since he started RMG back in 2010 – helping him with the admin side of the business and producing any correspondence he needed, since his severe dyslexia doesn’t afford him the luxury of doing that himself.

Over the years, the business grew, and our family grew, and I quickly realised that the finite time I had outside of my full-time job and running our home just wasn’t enough. So, when we found out we were expecting our third child, we discussed the pros and cons of me joining the business.  These were all practical things like money, job responsibilities, and future goals for the business –

but the one thing we never discussed was how it might impact our marriage and relationship. And I quickly realised – that was probably the one thing we should’ve discussed at length.

Because Daryl and I are complete opposites on all spectrums! He’s a risk taker, tenacious, firm, and unapologetic and I am the total opposite. So there have been plenty of times where to say “we didn’t agree” would be a huge understatement! Couple that with Daryl’s severe ADHD and dyslexia, it was a very different environment than anything I’d ever worked in before.

But – those very qualities are also the things that make “us” work so well together. Even though there are times during the day where he might seriously annoy me, and I’ll remind him of that in the evening (because let’s face it – a woman never forgets) – I honestly believe most of the success we’ve had in our business is because we’re opposites. And for us, at least, it works – both in business and in personal life.

Daryl’s ADHD is definitely something I’d say is a massive asset to us – it gives him a perspective I just don’t have. Even though at times that same condition can cause him to be impulsive and switch focus (too) quickly, I’ve learnt over the years how to rein him in when needed.

Boundary-setting has been so important for us – because without those boundaries, work takes over especially outside of work hours, when we’re at home with our children. The other aspect I had overlooked is having things to talk about that aren’t work related.  When we worked separately, we always had things to talk about which the other person didn’t know but when you work together that doesn’t happen and your evenings can end up being an extension of your work day.

We have a passion to make our business the best it can be – and that takes hard work and dedication. Together we have a shared goal, a matched drive to build something great and I feel like that’s maybe not rare, but it’s definitely special.

So to all the couples who also choose to live and work together – Hats off to you and Cheers!

The Real Mccoy - Newsletter 1

That answers the question ‘what is it like to works with your husband/wife?’ straight from a couple who have been working together both officially and unofficially for over 10 years.

The title of the next article ‘dealing with bad debt’ another hard hitting subject broken down from real life experiences - coming in two weeks